The Top 14 Tips for Surviving College

• Minimize food budget by scheduling classes
  around Happy Hour.
  
  
• Enjoy being a Sophomore -- It will be the best
  three years of your life.
  
  
• 12. Wear an athletic cup to panty raids, because it's
  all fun and games until someone loses their
  'nads.
  
  
• Lemon juice and baking soda make an excellent
  bong water stain remover.
  
  
• 10. Earn extra cash by parlaying chemistry
  knowledge into lucrative "home
  pharmaceuticals" business.
  
  
• If an 8:00 am class is required for your major,
  change your major.
  
  
• Boring lecture? Start a wave!
  
  
• College-level algebra: 5 returnable bottles = 1
  delicious Ramen Noodle dinner.
  
  
• "I Phelta Thi" is *not* a real fraternity, except
  at state colleges.
  
  
• Remember - almost no one complains when you
  puke in a dumpster.
  
  
• Clever margin manipulation can turn a 4-page
  outline into a 100-page senior essay.
  
  
• Football games were never meant to be
  observed by sober people.
  
  
• Don't think of it as sleeping with your professor
  -- think of it as "acing Biology."
  
  
• and the Number 1 Tip for Surviving College...
  
  
• In a pinch, milk can be used as a beer substitute
  in your breakfast cereal.